The Top 10 cards that share their name with a Precon based on how well they would work in that Precon. Theme Deck edition.

Is there a limit to how long a post’s title can be? It is important that this one is just a tad too unwieldy to be comfortable, but also not be too long to make this client go all wonky.

So a bit of clickbait-y nonsense today, but it has to be done: gotta get those clicks. This post covers the Theme deck era: Tempest through to Eventide in 2008. This was chosen as there were 13 matches, which is enough for a post. Pretty scientific.

There were also a few near matches such as The Dragon-Kami Reborn and Cinderheart Giant but you’re gotta have standards. Drain Life is not Life Drain. (A shame as that would have ranked highly.)

Honourable mentions:

The Deluge (Battle Royale Box Set) and Turnabout (Shadowmoor) are both Green/White decks, so even if they’d want these effects, would they splash Blue to do so? Probably not, though being able to tap your opponent’s creatures down to clear a way for your big green creatures to get through… it’s a solid plan. Just not here.

Groundbreaker (Exodus) is a Black/Red land destruction deck, and I’m not sure if it’d want Ball Lightning let alone a colourshifted one. Though Ponza was a deck, and I could see those sleeved up alongside Avalanche Riders… in a monored build at least. You’re not splashing for a card which has three green pips.

10 — Devastation

Devastation (Onslaught) uses mana elves and effects that get extra lands into play in order to play lots of big beasts. A reset button for both? Not the best.

But wait: it has Cryptic Gateway to cheat things into play! Now we are talking! Except that needs creatures in play to activate. A shame because that would have rocketed this up the list otherwise.

9 — Mercenaries

A white Hill Giant with downside. Brilliant. Not what the monoblack Mercenaries (Nemesis) wants. But still, Cateran Enforcer can search it up and it would… um… allow the deck to work around Protection from Black effects? It is worth noting that the ability is a bit of a preview of all the “Rhystic” stuff in Prophecy so it does get a few extra style points there. I’m strangely captivated with the art, too, and am strongly considering using it as the preview image for this post.

8 — Pandemonium

Pandemonium is for sure a power card, but being symmetrical definitely needs to be built around. You wouldn’t just plonk it into a five coloured “Domain” shell like Pandemonium (Apocalypse).

I’m not certain why the Elves on Rath were Celtic, but then accessorising with a bit of woad certain looks striking when laying into some Mogg. I may also have used this as the preview. A good top ten list is a bit like a free for all battle so it’s very much appropriate.

7 — Pulverise

Pulverise (Scourge) is the one with Scornful Egotist so you could probably make the argument that any change you make to the deck is probably going to be for the better. This card does actually fit quite well with the casting cost matters theme it had going on, too: you can cheat this out early and it still does 6 if you hit it with an Erratic Explosion. While the following expansion was Mirrodin I think this needs to be judged in the context of Onslaught Block so that’s why it’s seventh.

6 — Waking Nightmare

There’s a bit of versatility here in being able to target yourself, however Waking Nightmares (Torment) doesn’t really use Madness, Flashback or Threshold to the same extent as other Odyssey based theme decks. Still, there may be some utility there, and you can always use it against your opponent too. If you had to. Just hope they don’t have Anger or Basking Rootwalla or similar in their hand.

5 — Stampede

Giving everything a power boost and trample at instant speed is something a lot of decks would be happy with, and Stampede (5th Dawn) is no exception.

Another deck which it would have been good in was Aurochs Stampede (Coldsnap) which reprinted cards from Ice Age. I’m furious about this. Look at the art! Aurochs! It was a shoe in.

4 — Deep Freeze

Deep Freeze (Tempest) already uses Pacifism and Gaseous Form so this would fit in perfectly. You’re relying on evasive creatures so this isn’t much of a barrier.

3 — Martial Law

A powerful effect, but I actually wonder if it’s a bit slow for Martial Law (Portal Second Age). The Righteous Charges have more of an immediate effect, and if you’re ahead on the board you can drop Armageddon. The fact that the creatures in Portal are weaker makes the card a bit worse too: you’re probably not too fussed about that Norwood Warrior.

2 — Distress

You Dark Ritual out a Chilling Apparition, then follow up in you next turn by forcing them to discard a card of your choice, and another of theirs. Maybe next turn you cast Rain of Tears to destroy their only Island, leaving them with two or three blue cards in hand they can’t play. Distress (Prophecy) can definitely make good use of a card of this calibre. It’d likely slot quite nicely into many precons which are weighted towards black, but there’s already some good support here.

1 — Goblin Assault

Goblin Assault (Starter 1999) wants to assault with a lot of Goblins each turn, and Goblin Assault definitely does that. The lower power level of Starter makes a never-ending swarm of 1/1 Goblins a considerable threat, as does the pair of Goblin General.

The Portal 2 Goblin deck, Goblin Fire, did include Wildfire which would have been great with this Enchantment. Though I have a copy of that deck and I’d say they probably made the right call replacing in for Starter.

Mercenaries by Cornelius Brudi

At ease, lads. The battle is over.

Yeah, so that’s it. It’s a bit of a ridiculous concept for a bit, but I had fun with it. The actual rankings don’t really matter, but if you feel passionately about it and want to start an argument in the comments… then you bet I will fiercely defend my decisions. You’re wrong and should be ashamed.